Feeling connected to other people is a basic psychological need. Recognising and understanding another person’s essence, and feeling seen and understood at the same time is one of the most beautiful experiences we can have. During an intense encounter, the brain waves and heart rate of two people can be “aligned” to such an extent that they are in complete harmony. These people literally resonate with each other. This creates a deep sense of connection.

When dancing the tango, this connection is also established physically during the first bars of music with a kind of “swinging in” or “swaying in”. With a barely noticeable shift of weight from one leg to the other, the lead tells the other person on which leg he is standing and with which he will start dancing. This “swaying in” gives the other person the chance to engage with their partner and thus with their lead, to develop trust and to “anticipate” which movement will come next. This creates harmony, a dialogue, a common heart rate and thus a deep connection that is crucial for dancing tango successfully.

How does this apply to sales talk? Are you ready to engage with your customers completely and unconditionally and to “pick them up” where they are? Are you able to establish the connection, the harmony with your customers through complete attentiveness, concentration, empathy, listening and “swaying in”? Are you ready to fulfil their deep desire for attachmet and thus a basic psychological need?

Admittedly, these are very high demands. And it is certainly safe to assume that many sales employees do not “pick up” their customers and harmonise with them. But if you succeed, you will be assures the immense gratitude, lasting loyalty and trust from your customers. There will then be no need for price reductions, sales campaigns or high advertising budgets. You will have won their hearts, have your finger on the pulse of your customers, and on the pulse of the times and be able to move in time with the tango.

But how can you create this deep connection to customers?

  • Give them your full, undivided attention (mentally, emotionally and physically).
  • Pay attention to your own posture, facial expressions and gestures: Open up to your customers and reach out to them.
  • Be fully aware of your customers’ posture, facial expressions and gestures and learn to interpret them correctly.
  • Show empathy and ask the right questions.
  • Create a good atmosphere by offering them a drink, providing seating, and playing background music at a pleasant volume.
  • Speak clearly using the pace and volume of your customers.
  • Listen with your heart and open up to your customers: Openness is emotional generosity.
  • And of course: smile!

Samy Molcho, the world-renowned expert on body language, whom I hold in high esteem, has summed this up aptly: “Awareness means recognising body signals and behaviour first of all. Communicating means interpreting them correctly and responding in an understandable way. This takes place at an intellectual level, but comes from the heart – the signal, like the response of our body.”

I hope I have been able to show you how essential it is to “pick up” your customers from where they are, and to “tune in” with the aim of reaching the same heart rate. This skill can be visualised, learned and integrated on all levels – physical, mental and emotional – through tango. Are you ready to embrace new behaviours, and to perceive your environment in a new way? Are you interested playfully tackling the required changes, and in experiencing and implementing new forms of communication? If so, I would like to invite you to my training “Tango dynamics to strengthen your customer loyalty”. I’ll teach you how to dance pas de deux with your customers.